Is a gambling addiction the same as alcoholism and drug addiction?  

Yes, it is.

The fears, stresses, and anxieties that lead to placing a sports bet are the same internal processes that lead to binge eating an entire box of donuts. It doesn’t matter whether the problem behavior is excessive vodka, pornography, video games, or cocaine. They are all driven by the same “torturous” mental and physical process. Sadly, this process only occurs in 17% of the adult population. The other 83% are what we call “normies”.

Constant internal rumination leads ALL compulsive behaviors towards self-medication. Again, it just depends on which flavor of addiction they’ve acquired. Gambling addicts are desperately trying to calm their overactive brains and fears with their specific version of a self-destructive behavior – gambling.

Like alcoholism, gambling addiction is a progressive disease. The gambler’s dream of hitting the jackpot grows stronger, not weaker, even as they run out of money and have less to wager. When they lose, they don’t think about grinding it out and committing to hard work to make up for their deficit. Instead, they latch onto a new shortcut and the next quick fix. With each loss, their financial mountain grows, and the gambler becomes more desperate. They borrow and steal.  A bigger bet feels necessary to pay off their growing debt. It’s a vicious cycle: they can’t win, but they keep trying.

At times, it may feel like they love gambling more than their own family. In the grip of the disease, they become profoundly selfish and lose the ability to distinguish right from wrong. Their moral compass seems to have gone sideways. They lie and manipulate constantly because the only thing they can think about is their remedy – gambling.

So what can you do if your loved one appears to have a gambling problem?  And how does my approach to gambling-focused therapy work?  

First, I complete a thorough assessment. Then, unflinchingly, I will provide your loved one with the results:  1) They are a borderline case and thus, only time will tell if they have a gambling problem.  Or 2) They ARE a gambling addict and have reached the threshold for a clear diagnosis of gambling addiction.

In the next step, I will explain the need for a secondary program in conjunction with my gambling-focused therapy. That is correct; whether they are in category one or two, therapy alone is not enough.

In order to work with me, your loved one will be required to participate in a spiritual program. This program can be anything: community service, Gamblers Anonymous, or rejoining a congregation or temple. The denomination is irrelevant: Christianity, Judaism, or Buddhism. Any spiritual program is fine. But they must participate in one. They can choose a non-god-based, spiritual program of gambling recovery. That is also available.

These programs will begin to teach them self-love, serenity, thoughtfulness, and giving back to others. The combination of my therapy and these spiritual programs can save your loved one from a downward spiral that they might not yet realize they are already in.  

You might be surprised to learn that the opposite of addiction is not sobriety, but connection. I will help your gambler get their life under control and learn to love themselves again. It’s an old cliche, but true; people need to love themselves first before they are ready to connect or love others.

Gambling is not just a mental obsession but a disease that leaves your loved one spiritually bankrupt. Many people, including myself, have found their way back to honesty, kindness, empathy, and enjoying connecting through this strategy. 

But no addict can do this alone, and I won’t work with your loved one if they aren’t ready to ask for help. This means stopping doing everything their way and being open to trying a different approach to their life. They have nothing to lose, but of course, many are profoundly stubborn about change. They’re scared. They may not be ready for therapy now. But if not, I advise you to start doing the work yourself. Gam Anon is a great first step for the loved ones of gamblers. Yes, this is real; you’re here, and I am ready to help.  Contact me to get started climbing back up that mountain.

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